dream gone real

i realised that dreams can mean a lot of things. ;(

dream interpretation

okay I wanna talk abt dreams. I know dreams at times do have meanings and I believe in that. so last night, I dreamt abt a baby. I was carrying a baby. im not sure whose baby it is  but I think it is my sister's. so I was holding the baby. why babies appear in my dreams? I think most prob because yesterday I was watching a video abt babies and laughing at them because they were too cute. the weird thing abt the baby is that the head is very lembik or soft whatever u call that. like theres some abnormality with the head. like its got a lot of water inside. sth like that. hmmm..why so weird leh the dream. ive heard this before;if u are pregnant, don't look at horrifying pictures. superstitious but to play safe, I will just not look if I get pregnant. tis means I will only have to look at nice pictures and handsome and pretty people lol including looking at the mirror always..lol. joking. that is why in islam, I think there are certain verses or surah in the quran that is good for you to read when u are pregnant. but of course we should not only read it for the sake of pregnancy n our child but make it a habit.hahahha.by the way, who is able to interpret my dreams?how come the baby's head is kinda abnormal?is that a sign of sth lol..

continuation of back pain

so the hospital actually referred me to the physiotherapist and I ve had my first session already. the guy's name is Jacob. at first he told me, do u need a female therapist but I told him im okay with both because I don't want him to feel rejected lol.. so he said I got muscle spasms and he did sth to my body. turned and twisted it lol. im not sure if its getting better. at the same time , im also taking muscle relaxant pills prescribed by the doctor from the hospital but u know what, the side effects are !$@#!#% everytime I eat the pills, I will feel extremely light headed, a feeling that I will just faint any moment. so its like I have to choose whether I wanna suffer with back pain or eat the pills but have that fainting feeling every moment. sometimes im not sure what to do so I just didn't eat it. hmmm..do all muscle relaxant pills give that side effects?terrible pills. okay back to the physiotherapist, he taught me some exercises to loose my muscles because he says it was tight. I did it every day three times. but im not sure if its improving my condition. haiz,,,,,terrible.actually I dun mind having a male therapist if all he does is teach me some exercises and touch here and there to ease my pain. my concern are things like massaging or having to open my clothes to check my condition. that's when I will feel uncomfortable maybe. im not afraid that I will get turned on by him cause I know I wont. lol just afraid he gets turned on by me. lolololoolololo.. omg perasannye aku. hahhaha. but whatever it is, anybody who has experienced the same condition as me, please shed some light. when will this thing go away. ive had enough of having low back pain n im only 21 years old okay......too young to have all these problems.

continuation of yesterday's story

so im not sure why ytday's post was left hanging like that. actually I posted more and it just got cut off.what happened???? okay but whatever, actually I wanted to talk about: being examined by an opposite gendered doctor.is that okay?hmmm..so like mentioned I got back pain for slightly more than three months and the doctor wanted to check if my spine got problems. so he needs to check for my anal tone. !@#$!#%!$%! u know how I embarrassed I was. omg. I know for some people this is no issue. but for me it IS. you may say that the doctor have probably seen it everyday so he doesn't mind. but I don't think so since he looks quite young probably just a few years older than e. its not that I think the doctor will do anything to me. besides, there is a female nurse by his side. so he can't possibly do anything. n that is also not my concern actually. my concern is embarrassment. I think the only person that has seen my tooooooooooooot is my mum and that too, when I was a baby. after that, no one else. so u should understand how uncomfortable I feel when someone wants to  look at mytoooooooooot. haiz......so when I refused the doctor to check, I asked him to call for a female doctor if there is. but I think all of them were busy so the doctor just say "its ok". and then wrote on the report. patient refuses dre to check for anal tone. loll!!!!!ok so that was abt it. a huge embarrassment. shouldn't have gone to the hospital haizzzzzzz.

last day of year 3 sem 1

so today is the last day of year 3 sem 1 in NUS. time flies so fast. it seems like just recently I applied for university admission. still remember the days where I will go to the letter box everyday to check if my application letter has arrived, and then my first few days in NUS- the blur days where I have trouble remembering which shuttle bus goes where. actually, up till now, I don't know which shuttle bus go where hahah..keep forgetting. just now, I took d1, thinking that it will go to science but actually nope. lol. what a blur student I am. 3 years and still blur as always. okay so whatever..I am not going to post abt uni stuff here. Will only write about it after I graduate so yeah..
So today I will actually post about something else. I have had lower back pain for 3 months :( sad rite. but seems like the pain is getting worse. so decided to go to the polyclinic one day because my mum asked me to. then went to geylang polyclinic and they refer me to the hospital but appointment is next year july..wtf rite. so long. so decided to go for myself as im afraid condition will get worse. so yeah went to this hospital a&e. waited like 123

hi again

hello everyone..i miss writing but then again im busy :) haiz...

Saya dan drama Melayu (Sebenarya saya isteri dia)

so as u know, i am a singaporean and do not get many malaysian channels. the only channels that i get to watch are tv1, astro ria and astro prima.. yup so i watch all the malaysian dramas from youtube or any other malaysian online sites. whenever i watch malay dramas, somehow i will have a crush on the actor. but not all the time of course. depends on the character of the hero and the cuteness or 'handsomeness' of the hero. aniwaes, recently, i watched the drama sebenarnya saya isteri dia starred by tiz zaqyah and izzue islam. well, i like both of them and i think that they bring out the character of syaf and firash very well. in that story, izzue looks more boyish with his short hair. ive seen him in long hair from previous films/dramas and i think he look more mature with long hair. but in that story, he is suppose to be a student  so that short gave him a very cute and boyish look..wooohooo..*melt for a while* okay so after i finish watching the drama, i sort of went crazy over this Izzue Islam. before watching this drama, i do know that izzue exists but i did not really notice him. i have a friend who is crazy about izzue and i thought to myself "apelah yang kau suke sangat si izzue tu."
hahahha but that was last time, now i like izzue very much. well my craziness for him led me to search info and videos on youtube about him. and my fondness for him actually grew. i wonder why i did not notice him last time. probably because in the dramas that i watched, he was not the lead actor. okay so what made me heartbroken is of course to know that my crush is MARRIED. he got married at such an early age. he is just 2 years older that me.. shouldn't he wait for me first? hahah. i don't why i have to be sad hahhah. kalau dia belum kahwin pun, bukannye dia nak kawin dengan aku kan..lol.. okay so back to the story, after watching the SSID drama, coincidentally on that night itself, i checked his twitter and got to know he is coming to Singapore the next day. i was super duper excited but for some reasons could not make it so i did not go... AARGGGHH!!! (i really hope i could see him again one day). izzue did not come alone but with his band group. before this, i don't know that the group forteen exists but thanks to izzue, i discovered this group. i then started watching their videos on youtube and i do think that they are quite talented. besides, another interesting thing about this group is that, all members in the group are good looking!!!!!!!!!!! (ameerais is hottt!!!!)  n i also like to watch their videos which i think is really very entertaining..

this post is quite long..i should end soon. okay so now that i know izzue is married, (heartbroken..) i need to move on....hahhahaha...pathetic rite....ok time to go people.

P.S: If this post offends any party, i apologize. xoxo

truth is, i feel lonely ;(

anyone wish to analyse this for me?

why does a couple continue to live in a loveless marriage? is it because of children? most probably rite. but won't couples having problems but living together impact their children too? unless they are willing to put a play all the time in front of their children which is impossible to happen. ok.. so actually i wanna talk about myself. i grow up in a non-loving family. so basically, as a child, i have witnessed a couple (my father and mother) whose marriage is sort of ----_____-------. they do not really argue but its just that they always have misunderstandings and i know that they are not happy. in fact, i feel that only my father is happy. i view their relationship like one of a ruler and his follower. of cos, here my father is the ruler who frequently make orders whereas my mother is the follower who has no say and has to complete all the orders by the ruler. obviously, he is happy because his life is made easier with my mum. but i know for sure that my mum is not happy. sometimes, she say that she wants us to get married so that she can flee from my father. now, i understand why divorce rates between older couples are increasing. when they have children, they hold on to the marriage even though its leading to nowhere. after all their children are married, they feel that they have fulfilled their responsibilities as parents and hence, they can separate.

i am close to my mum. and that is why she has always been sharing her problems with me. so i know many of the problems she face with my father. as a child who is forced to witness a relationship which sort of failed has impacted me in a great way, particularly in viewing the notion of marriage and relationship. i am 21 and still have never had any boyfriend. besides the fact that i am a shy person and does not really mix with guys, there are obviously other reasons as to why i have never been in a relationship before. indeed, the reason why i do not mix with guys is also because i feel that there are too many guys who are irresponsible and mean. this is most probably due to the fact that the guys who are close to me in terms of blood relations exhibits these characteristics so i tend to think that many guys out there are also the same. but hey of course i am not trying to make a generalization here. i know there exists many good guys out there but it may just be hard to find. and also, i am afraid that if i go on a relationship, it will be a failed one just like my mum's marriage. even though they are still together, i still view it as a partially failed marriage because of unhappiness. why stay on to a relationship if it does not make u happy? we live only once and we cannot make ourselves suffer....i am not praying for them to separate but instead it will be good if they can inculcate some love in them.

aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
setia hujung nyawa dahbes..alamatnye, banyak lah free time aku lepas nie..so boring :(
will miss seeing amar asyraf and nelydia senrose :))))))))))))))))))))))

setia hujung nyawa

saya dah addicted to cerita setia di hujung nyawa. dapat tau cerita ni pun dari youtube. memandangkan saye nie orang singapore dan tak dapat tv3, terpakse tunggu episode diupload di youtube je. kekadang saye tengok dari tv3 live streaming tapi selalunye stuck jer. aniway, saye suke tengok cerita nie. first time saya tengok amar asyraf belakon. cute sangat lah die tu. dulu bila rambut kerinting, die nampak style and cool tapi bile rambut straight nampak hensem and sometimes cute too :) and the girl, nelydia, is also very pretty. saya rase dia nampak macam a bit matured for her age. tak sangka dia sama umur dengan adik saya. ingatkan dia dalam lingkungan 20an. dalam episod2 baru nie, rasa macam geram jer tengok si zain tu. tak abes2 ke nak balas dendam? oklah apapun, saya suka tengok cerita nie.. korang perasan tak muke amar asyraf macam seseorang? pada saye, muke die macam irwansyah pun ade..zul ariffin pon ade..hahha. tengok gambar kat bawah nie.yeker?tengok angle lah.kadang sama kadang tak.heheh ;)

Complain Culture

just wondering why people like to complain...i feel that the complain culture here is quite "on". people complain everywhere and social networking sites are now the most popular platform for people to complain and rant. they complain on twitter, facebook and whatever shit there is. and you can see that in many of these complain-posts, there will usually be many likes..wth rite. i agree that sometimes people do need to complain. this is to ensure that actions will be taken as a result of the complain and things will further improve. for example, a service for a certain restaurant is bad. one customer then complains about the service. it is through this complain that things will improve and the customer service will be better. however, i feel that the complain culture here is too much and people complain over everything that they are against with.i see this as not appreciating what you have and not knowing how to be grateful. i will not object if that complain will benefit other people and will make a situation improve. nevertheless, it should not be too overly done to the extent that you complain over every little things or to the extent that you humiliate other people. what i mean by this humiliation is through complaining the wrong way. going back to the example of the bad service in the restaurant.

In noticing that the service of the restaurant is bad,

Person A: Approach the manager and talk to the manager directly about the bad service.

Person B: Go to the facebook page of the restaurant and post about its bad service.

Seriously i prefer the first option but i tell you people today will mostly be Person B. what they will do is that, they will complain on the company's facebook page. this complain will then receive many likes. In that process, Person B will feel that he is much supported. The restaurant will receive much humiliation from that complaint and people working there will be scolded. Person B seriously have no idea what mess he brought to the company? That complain may also discourage people from going to that restaurant hence affecting its business. No doubt, things might improve from this complain. But things will also improve if you are Person A. The point im trying to bring here is that you can complain but do not overly do it such that you complain over every small unhappiness you feel. this could make you be seen as an ungrateful person. also, you have to complain in a right manner. the goal of complaining is only to improve things. not more than that. For us who don't complain good job. Do your part by not liking complain posts. Thanks.

hey so nus results have came out a few days ago and my cap increased by 0.05.not a big improvement but oklah.from 3.75 to 3.8. not so good but alhamdulillah. i went countdown on 1st Jan with my parents because they were afraid that something might happen to me and my sister. so they came along. my mother said that was her first time seeing fireworks.. kesian mak aku. so along with new year, people will always talk about new year resolution. to me, i don't have to wait till new year for me to make a resolution. i can do that at any point of my life. yup so as for me, i have always wanted to be a better person. first and foremost, i have always wanted to be a better daughter. i know that i am a biased person. i am nice to my mum but not to my father. i don't exactly know why. i hope i can change. easily said, in my life, i am nice to everyone except to my father and i cannot explain why. i hope someone can help me to change my perception of him. besides wanting to become a better daughter, i also want to become a more pious person meaning i want to pray more.hahha. so recently, i have always missed subuh prayers because its school holiday. i don't know if there is a link between the two but school makes me more encouraged to wake up for subuh. its time for me to change. maybe because during school holidays i sleep late and its difficult for me to wake up early in the morning. so to change, i need to sleep early and set up my alarm clock so that i can wake up for subuh. not only subuh, i will try not to miss my other prayers too. yeah and my last goal is to be a more knowledgeable person in terms of religious knowledge and also the 'secular' knowledge. hmmm..that is all for now. and lastly i have always said to myself that this semester i will be more hardworking but this has never happened. i feel that every semester i am getting lazier :((