Life of the Other Woman

If you all have read my posts, probably you would know by now that I am having a scandal with an engaged man. Basically I have known him a year plus. It is an on-off relationship. Off because I simply could not stand being the other woman & just left him without any notice. Personally, up till now, I shall say that both me and him are really unsure of each other. As you all know,  I left him for a while the other time. On 14 November. After some time, I missed him too much I could not stand it and during the day that he was supposed to attend court for a traffic offence, I started texting him back and everything went well as if there was nothing wrong with us. Now, I have been seeing him for 1 week and we meet each other quite often. It hurts a lot to stay in this relationship knowing that he belongs to someone else but it hurts me more to leave him. I have always wanted to know his feelings towards his fiancee and me. If possible, I want him to be upfront. I think it is better for me to be hurt now knowing that he loves his fiancee more than me than to keep doubting his love for me and behave like some insecure girl. The other day, I met him and we were standing near my void deck and my father actually saw us. I was terribly shocked. And now, my family thinks that I am having a relationship with him. I dont know how to explain to them if they all know that he is actually engaged. Right now, I feel like i am stuck at the crossroads. I am not allowed to date other guys because he might get hurt and jealous. At the same time, I don't know where my relationship is going with him. I guess for as long as I am able to tahan, I will do it. But one day, if I lose patience, I might end up cheating on him. Since he wants me to stay with him and not leave him, I will do it. But if I see that our relationship is not going anywhere, I might have to date other guys and at the same time be with him. Worst, I got to know that he already bought a house with his fiancee under the fiance/fiancee scheme. From what I read from the HDB website, one is not allowed to change the name and replace it with his parents or his new fiancee. Hence, if he chooses to cancel the application, he might have to pay a huge sum of money as a forfeit. Besides that, he will not be able to apply for a new house for the next one year. Will he make that kind of sacrifices and leave his fiancee for me? I am really not sure if he has the guts to do that. Laws are laws. I dont know if there is any way one might be able to help us or make him pay less if he were to replace the name with someone else's. Whatever it is, I shall not hope so much. Let's just pray for the best. I believe that whatever happens is for the best of both of us.