hey so lately i have been so busy....don't know what im busy with really. ok so yeah.i have been in contact with this guy from a chat room. we texted each other for like 1 month plus. now he has not texted me for three days. so now im going to share with you guys my chat experience with him.
our first conversations were great. i see him as a very funny person. and whatever he says i can laugh at. i especially like to see memes (if you know what that means) n he has lots of that. chatting with him always makes me smile. i remembered the first conversation. he asked me if i got bf. i said yes to see his reaction when actually i do not have. it was a random lie which was initially meant to just disturb him but this lied got carried till now n he still thinks that i have a boyfriend. so yeah..i pity him on that. anyway, to me he is like chipsmore. he can msg me for days sometimes so long (6 hours) and then will stop for a few days.. this is the thing i dont understand. what is he thinking. sometimes i will take the initiative to msg him so that it will seem that i am not always the one who is waiting for him to text me first. but sometimes i am just afraid that i might be disturbing him.
talking about our relationship...i see our relationship as more than just friends though we have never met each other. to me at least, i know i like him but this is maybe due to his personality n nothing more than that. im not sure how he feels towards me. he told me a few times that he really like me. im not sure how far he is telling the truth. he calls me names such as dear, syg, gorgeous, beautiful n such. and again im not sure how far he actually meant what he said.
aniway. till now he has been thinking that i have a boyfriend and yet he is going after me. in fact he is a very direct person. he told me that he has been trying hard to win over me. there is this time where he actually wanted my half naked pic. i was quite shocked but i said yes. im not sure what brought me into saying that but i did. however i said that i will send the next morning.. he told me sth like "make me hard with ur pic aite" i swear i was not lying when i agreed. i really thot i will send him the pic. ive never done this stupid thing but i dont know what made me say yes. so after agreeing i actually took ard 1 to 2 hours listing all the pros and cons of doing that. i dont know what the cons are. probably just one- i get to please the person i like. however, the cons are so many. i started to imagine many wild things like he sending my parents the pic if we argue. so after much thought, i actually wrote a pretty long msg on why i decided not to send him the pic. after that we stopped msging each other for like 2 weeks. i deleted his number and i have to admit i tried many numbers to get his number back. finally he came back to me telling me lots of times that he actually missed me. i was actually kinda mad with him. not merajok but i just thought that: just because i do not want to send u the half naked pic u dun wanna contact me any more. i was certain then that he only cared about one thing: sex.
aniway, after like 2 week silence, he msg me first and we began to text each other almost. everyday. he still calls me by the usual names like dear, baby, gorgeous etc. however, i kinda notice something a bit different abt him lately. there was this time i texted him. he sounded different. not as cheery and chirpy as he was before. i popped up a random qn to ask how he is feeling. he then said he was good. i asked again, suspecting that sth was not quite right. n he finally admitted to having personal issues. n he doesnt wish to discuss it with me. at that point, i was thinking what i really meant in his life. if he likes me, wouldnt he share his problems with me? putting that aside, after that i noticed a change in him. he did not text me as much. i need to initiate the text.
actually i know his working schedule. not being a stalker but its just easy to remember. he is a fireman so he worked 24 hours and 48 hours off. there was this time i knew he was not working but he told me he was. he has not msged me for like 3 days now and im not sure if i should initiate the text cos i dun wanna disturb him. im suspecting that there is sth wrong or he is having some problems in his life or heis just hiding sth from me.
im not sure if he is contacting another girl but my gut feeling is telling me yes n im guessing he is contacting his ex. he told me once that he and his ex are like having time off. n hte status of his relationship now is kinda complicated. so im assuming he has not yet ended his relationship with his ex. as such i have the feeling if he is just using me to get over his ex, n knowing that he is not able to do that, he is now patching with her.. of course i do not want to make any judgements just randomly. my gut feelings were all built up as i talked to him. in our conversation, he will sometimes talk abt his ex. n some of the things i feel is quite inappropriate for a guy to tell a girl that he likes. for instance, he told me that his ex loves to eat his cum.??n then when he masturbates, sometimes he will think of me, sometimes his ex???hmmmmmmmm...
ok so now it has been three days. i will not intiate the texting this time. guess i just have to wait.
will update soon.
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